The Token Guiri

Writing in the local paper. Local issues with a global take. I never translate literally and the editor trims at will to make it fit. Here's my version, then theirs.

As the token guiri (nordic foreigner), I’m often asked what I think about certain Spanish traditions. From Semana Santa to bullfighting to the seemingly foreign meaning of the word resign, people are curious about how a foreigner might perceive things that fit inside Fraga’s famous tourist slogan, Spain is different. The thing is, I have lived my entire adult life outside the country of my birth and I can no longer say for certain if my recollections of Canada are still valid enough to be able to accurately contrast them against what I see around me. All the same, my surname is a long way from Gonzalez and I can compare and contrast what surrounds me against the many other countries that I have lived and spent time in. So the other day while I was talking with a friend and the topic of cleanliness came up, I happened to be in complete agreement with my interlocutor that Spanish homes are by far some the cleanest places on Earth. The eye-watering smell of beach that you often encounter as you walk the streets is proof positive of that. My curiosity, however, lies in the fact that this fastidiousness seems to end the second that they step out of their homes. Hours can be spent scrubbing tiles at home, but the street seems to be for someone else to clean. Out of the barely ten families in my neighborhood, at least four have the twice daily ritual of opening their doors to allow their favorite pet to do their business outside the family home, on other people’s doorsteps of course. No matter how often the street cleaners comes by. and here in Spain they come by often, they simply can’t keep up with the dogs and cats of my neighbors. I’ve actually never been inside their homes but I’m sure they live up to Spanish standards of cleanliness. What confuses me is the contrast between the bleach in their homes and their blithe disregard for the mess they leave in the streets. Could it be they simply want to create jobs? I guess this make-work project could be admirable but I am convinced that our money could spent on something a bit more productive than cleaning up after Fido.