A Bit of a Warning?

Writing in the local paper. Local issues with a global take. I never translate literally and the editor trims at will to make it fit. Here's my version, then theirs.

The Queen paid a visit to Caceres the other day. Sorry, I should probably be more precise, I don’t mean the ex-journalist who is the darling of all the fashion magazines, but the one who, like me, can’t get rid of that stubborn accent from elsewhere. In these days of having two kings, two truths, two popes etc, things can indeed get a bit confusing. But as the refrain about the legendary Spanish generosity goes, donde comen tres, comen cuatro (where three can eat, so can four). Even in these difficult times when hospital beds are being cut back and people are expected to retire after they die, why not have two queens? And if the trains out to this part of her realm aren’t to her liking, well let's send a helicopter to pick her up. Anyways, don’t feel bad if you didn’t know about her visit, I only found that she was here when I saw the police towing my neighbors’ cars away for security measures, and I live in the old town. I had suspected something was up as I walked home and noticed more police that pedestrians but my suspicions were confirmed when I overheard an officer talking to a neighbor. The poor guy had just found out that his car had been towed away and the policeman was telling him that he shouldn’t be upset because he hadn’t been fined, though I’m not sure his taxi fare to pick it up will be included with the helicopter in the budget. It seems that la doña Sofia was here to attend a concert that in part was sponsored by the town hall and el Grupo Ciudades Patrimonio de la Humanidad de España. I found myself wishing that Iberdrola, the electricty company or even the water comany had also been part of this and the in the process they could have shown the town hall the way that they actually inform residents about something that is going to affect them a day or two in advance. The fact that TVE (Spanish National TV) was here with the queen will surely help promote our fair city but I’m sure that this wasn’t a state secret and a few signs the night before would have appeased even the most virulent republican.